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It’s just … I don’t know. I like your little landing strip. And I have never been with a woman who shaved before. You probably have less hair down there than most women I have been with. I remember one woman …. Wow! … talk about the Amazon jungle … she …”“Stop. Babe, you need to stop talking right now. Right now,” I interrupt, raising my hand to flick him in the nose.“Oh, sorry. TMI.”“Yes, TMI.”“Okay. If you really want to do this, I am ready. Let me get everything together.”“Wait. What? What do you mean?”“Well, I am going to be the one to do it. This is your virgin voyage and I want to be there.”Let me explain. My husband, I’ll call Big D in this story, is a very large man, standing at 6’5, with big hands sporting clumsy thick fingers. There is no way in hell I want those things handling a delicate razor on my even more delicate pussy. Love him, but …I hold up one of his big sausage fingers with my tiny fingers and say, “Honey, you rarely shave your face and when you do you come out. You’ve had us under 24-hour surveillance with just two of them. After the attempt on your life last month, say fifteen or twenty might be a reasonable precaution. Some of whom, you’d need to keep downtown with Rita, of course.“Now, the ‘Green Family Reunion’ is going on next door; and, by the way, nobody who isn’t on TV or in the movies goes and gets a damn professional-made banner for a party. A party where all of the family members are adults in their 20s and 30s in peak fighting condition with no children or elderly present, many of whom are wearing baggy summer outfits that could easily conceal a pistol. Not Velasquez, of course; she couldn’t hide anything in that bikini, but some of them. Some are ‘casually’ going off in pairs to take strolls around the neighborhood, others go out in groups for ‘another supply run,’ when you’ve got enough stuff to hold your own rock festival already. So, I’m thinking that our street, and maybe a five-block radius around it, is presently the.
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